It’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that this year is coming to an abrupt ending. I’m also not sure what I’m facing in the coming weeks, which adds some nervous anticipation and reluctance. I am trying my best to “stay in the moment” but after a therapy session designed to inquire about trauma, it was hard to turn it on and off like a faucet.

It helps when someone is in your corner and there for you. But some things you have to work though on your own. I can’t expect anyone to get the history because I can barely believe it’s been 20+ years. But the bottom line I learned the hard way is that you can carry it forever.

Until you are ready to face it and really work on getting through past traumatic events, they remain in the shadows, ready to resurface at the most inconvenient of times. Even years later. Flashbacks pop up despite the intentional suppressing of them.

I hope we can manage to handle all our stressors together as a team. When we do, it’s beautiful. Synchrony, harmony. It brings peace to the situation otherwise not so peaceful. But it seems we both have our minds in different issues to tackle right now. Hoping we converge and brainstorm together. But first I’ll ensure I encourage he has time to think and reflect, journal and relax before jumping into problem-solving mode.