There is this philosophical view that there cannot be light without darkness, or darkness without light. Maybe it’s true, but when we measure our life in dark moments and light moments, we do not need to experience darkness to know it exists. We hear about horrible tragedies on the news, social media, and through friends and family. What is cumbersome is when you find yourself in a dark part of your life, especially if you do not realize it. What? You can be in a dark part of your life without knowing it? Yes.
When you are in a bright room, and someone turns off all the lights, you cannot see. Your pupils are going, “What the actual fuck just happened here?” As your eyes adjust, you can start to see more around you. When something happens that turns our lives dark, we initially cannot see. We do not know what is going on. As we get used to it, we see more around us, but we don’t notice the darkness as much. It isn’t until light is shown back into our lives that we realize the extent of the darkness we’ve been living in.
I had no clue what the last couple of years had done to me. I’m not really talking about the covid thing, per se. Yes, that had a negative impact on a lot of people, and it did me, but it is not the primary issue over the last couple of years. I had no idea the amount of depression I had. I didn’t know I was that beat down and sad. It was a mix of things, but each pound added, adds weight to a scale.
What changed? A light was shown from a great distance. It was almost blinding at first, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. I just kept walking towards it. The light was getting brighter, but my eyes were adjusting. Eventually, I start to make out a figure in this light. Calm down! It wasn’t Jesus, and I wasn’t dying. I’m being figurative here. Once my eyes adjust a little more, I can make out who this person is. I’m not surprised by who it is, but I am happy about it.
As I look back, I am astonished by just how far I’ve traveled and how dark it is behind me. I could not see it when I was there. The eyes of my soul became used to the darkness. I had no idea. People are placed in our lives for certain reasons. I honestly believe this person was put here partly to help shine the light on my darkness. Strangely, I also didn’t realize I was shining a light on their darkness as well. People cross paths all the time. Most people pass like people walking in New York City, head down, eyes straight ahead or looking at their phone, ear buds in, and not paying attention to anyone else around them. Every great once in a while, people look up and realize they are standing right in front of a person they were supposed to meet all long, just neither knew it at the time.
The light is closer than it has ever been, but I must keep walking closer. I do not want my eyes to get used to the darkness again. I’m not saying I’m close to the end of this tunnel, but it is a helluva lot brighter than it has been, and that makes me smile.