By nature, men are fixers. Need food? Let me go kill that deer, and we’ll eat. That bear threatening our home? Let me go shoot it in the face and make a nice rug out of it. There’s a pipe leaking? Let me fix that. It’s what we do (in the classical sense. I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with men today).
That “fix it” nature can get us into trouble because not everything needs fixed. Not everything can be fixed. One area men tend to get into trouble is when their wife or girlfriend vents. We hear problems. Problems need solving. “Hey, you can do this. Try that.” No, no, no… that is not what is needed. What is needed is for you to listen. That’s it! I know, it’s weird, but trust me on this. If they want your help, they will explicitly ask for it, in this scenario at least. They have a habit of expecting you to know what they want, but I digress.
If something does need resolved, how far are you willing to go to help someone out? Are you willing to pick up and drive 644 miles? Are you willing to risk physical harm to yourself? I mean, everything is situational. Are you willing to drive 644 miles to save a cat from a tree? Fuck no! That dumbass cat got itself up there, it should be able to get itself down. There’s a thing called gravity that will assist that cat nicely in getting down from that tree. On the other hand, are you willing to drive 644 miles to save a friend’s life from a possible domestic event? I know a few people, including myself, that would say yes. There are people murdered every day by intimate lovers. Everyone thinks, “Oh, I’ll be fine. It won’t happen to me.” …. until it does.
I’m not in the habit of forcing people to do things. I let people make their own decisions. If you decision is to be a bad spouse, don’t be surprised when I’m gone (maybe an extreme example, but it proves the point). I’m not going to beg people to do things. They have to come to that decision on their own. If they want my help, I will help. I might insist on helping, but I will not force the issue. I realize I cannot fix everything, and it drives me fuckin nuts. If I have the choice between helping and not, I’ll help. That’s just the type of person I am. It has bitten me in the ass more than a few times, but I’d rather be condemned to Hell for things I have done instead of things I did not do. (Reference: Matthew 25:33-46).