Well, I survived the surgery (so far). Sitting still, I do not really feel any pain. It aches like having the hernia, but slightly more. When I move, that’s when it hurts. going from a lying down position to a sitting position is the most brutal. If the doc talked to me, I don’t remember it. I thought I would be a nervous wreck, but strangely, I wasn’t. Talking to a friend beforehand helped. I have no idea how long I was in the waiting area (after getting the IV and the initial prep). I fell asleep. I woke up long enough for them to wheel me somewhere that I thought looked like a set on “Rick and Morty.” I think I said something out loud. My next memory was the nurse waking me up telling me I was done. My response was, “Bullshit!” She told me to look down, and I saw my dressing.

Oh…. sitting in the recovery room, I barely remember it. I remember messaging a few people. The nurse said some shit I don’t remember. She asked me what my current pain level was. I said, “One.” I told them two days before, I’d be good to go home on a pain level of six.

Oh, pain. It either tells us we’re alive or dying. Without getting into the philosophical bullshit of living or dying, Getting up and moving around, my pain is around a five or six. I honestly don’t remember the worst pain I’ve ever felt. Waking up to a charlie horse in the calf is fucking brutal. This surgery pain isn’t anything like that.

The hardest part of this surgery for me will be in a couple of weeks when I’m feeling good. I am going to have to keep reminding myself that my outsides look fine, but my insides are still healing. I ask my employees, “What’s the number-one rule? Don’t fuck up.” I just have to remember, don’t fuck it up.

I hope this makes sense. I’m still a bit groggy.