There are so many cliché anecdotes about love being a drug. The question, though, is, well is it? Before we get into that, we need to understand the difference love and infatuation. They seem similar on the surface, but there is a bit of a difference between the two. We also need to look at the brain chemistry along the way. Note: I am not expert in this shit. I’ve read some stuff and experienced shit in my almost 42 years on this planet.
What is the difference between love and infatuation? Infatuations is the beginning stages of love. To me, it’s an immature love. It’s like thinking about the person, and wanting to talk to that person, but it isn’t about wanting to gain a long-term relationship with that person. It’s all about the here and now. Are there plans for the future, or just the next conversation? To me, that’s the big difference.
When we first meet someone new, our brains are like, “Jackpot! Start dumping chemicals like ecstasy at a rave!” We start to feel all these weird feeling and start thinking interesting thoughts. At first, it’s confusing, yet intriguing. I mean, it’s one thing to want to fuck someone right off the bat. We have testosterone and estrogen (in different amounts depending on your biology) that make us want to grind hips. I’m not talking about that shit. There’s a saying (from a guy’s point of view), “Women are a dime a dozen, and I’ve got a pocket full of change.” I’m not looking for that shit, nor is that the topic of discussion.
Assuming, you don’t want to fuck them right away, or you get past that phase, there can be a natural form of attraction. We are generally more attracted (in the long term) to people who are more similar to us. People who are different are intriguing, but rarely pass the test of time. When you are attracted to someone, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin are released in the brain. All of these make us feel really good, euphoric even. This is where infatuation stays. Infatuation never gets past this. Love, on the other hand, we form an attachment to the other person. Oxytocin and vasopressin are released. Oxytocin is nicknamed the “cuddle hormone.”
So how is this love shit like a drug? Well, cocaine helps releases dopamine in our brain. MDMA helps release oxytocin. When we get that boost, oh boy, do we love it! When we don’t, we withdrawal and miss it. Love, cocaine, and MDMA. Now, that’s a combo! So? Love and cocaine and MDMA release the same chemicals, so what? I’ve never done cocaine or MDMA, so I do not have personal experience with those. What I do know is that if when I’m interacting with someone that I love, I feel amazing! When I don’t, I long for the fix. I want it more than anything! Fuck food, fuck friends, fuck life itself! Love makes you an addict, and that’s okay by me. I’ll crave that love drug every second of every day.
One response to “Is Love a Drug?”
I’ve written a college paper on addiction and relationships based on these very chemicals. I think you’re spot on and, having tried Cocaine and ecstacy, I can say the high is quite similar in the infatuation stage.
Love is a much deeper, more complex connection especially expressing it on a bio-psycho-social level. No I don’t mean crazy, I mean physically, physiologically and mentally.
But depending on the couples’ potential for depth and intellect, I believe some people are wired to love much stronger than others.