It Just Got Real

I just got a call from the preadmissions people for the surgery in two days. That was 40 minutes of answering questions, most of which I couldn’t figure how it was relevant to a hernia surgery. Who gives a fuck if I broke my finger for a hernia surgery? Then, some of the instructions were like, “don’t take any herbals seven days before surgery.” Am I supposed to have a time machine to tell myself that five days ago? “Don’t shave the area, prior to surgery.” Umm…. you’ve been too late for a while.

I mean, I can understand why some of these things are true, but two days before a surgery cutting it a little close on some things. Regardless, tomorrow morning, I need to get labs drawn, and EKG, and a covid test. I’m not going into how the wording of the conversation was bullshit, but it was. This though, makes me a bit more nervous. Why? Because it’s real. It’s soon. I want this thing fucking fixed. It’s driving me nuts. That doesn’t mean I’m looking forward to the experience.

Luckily, I have supportive parents and some supportive friends. I know these next few weeks are not going to be fun. I will enjoy getting this thing fixed and trying to get back to some form of normalcy. I loathe not being able to do what I need to do, feeling utterly useless. I have been used to doing everything myself, for myself and others. Maybe this the wakeup call everyone needs, for me to not do everything and for people to not rely on me for everything.

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