If anyone doesn’t think life is a challenge, they are either completely spoiled by luxury or are on some pretty amazing drugs. Life is constantly throwing challenges our way. It could be the weather, finances, family, friends, or a host of other challenges. Overcoming these can be taxing at best. Our perception on life can have a major impact on how well we’re able to cope with these obstacles. If we’re in a calm, positive mood, these obstacles might not phase us much. If we’re overwhelmed, it might push us to our breaking point.

Just because our mood might be light, and we can handle whatever life throws at us today, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t fill our emotional jug. Think of ourselves like a vase. Sometimes, we get knocked around, and our vase becomes cracked. If enough cracks appear, our vase might shatter and fall to pieces on the ground. Most of us have been there at least once in our lives. It is a gut-wrenching feeling that makes us feel alone in the universe, even if we’re surrounded by family and/or friends.

Even if our vases do not crack, once they fill up, they overflow. When this happens, we feel overwhelmed. It makes it much easier to succumb to negative thoughts and feelings. We might know that we can only handle one problem at a time, but that is of little comfort when we’re one person going against an army of shit piling on top of us. Even if our vases do not crumble from life’s pressures, we have an insanely effective way of self destructing and breaking our own vases with our actions.

Feeling overwhelmed often leads us to lashing out at the people closest to us. They might not be the cause of our stress, but they typically bear the brunt of our lashings. Guilt and shame often follow. It can exacerbate our feeling of being overwhelmed. Again, most of us have felt this at least once in our lives. For the unfortunate among us, this feeling can be monthly, weekly, or daily. It’s a difficult feeling to shake. We either learn to navigate through these challenge and eliminate them until the water levels in our vases drop to a manageable level, or we have to take time for ourselves and scoop out the water one cupful at a time.

This is a slow process, but it is the only one we can do when one hit follows the next, not allowing us to take a breath between punches. Like many others, I struggle with this. I’m abnormal in the area of how I think and deal with these challenges. Most people feel their way through while I analyze and think my way through. I save the feeling until after… or until I’m overwhelmed until my vase cracks. I keep trying to push my way through, but as soon as I eliminate one stress, many others swarm in to take its place.

I need to learn how to take time for myself. Writing these posts are a journal for me, publicly available. If I have anything really personal, I’ll write it in a paper journal. These posts are here so they can hopefully help someone else. These help me get my thoughts organized, but I also hope it can help someone who needs it. Do I think anyone will find these posts and actually read them? No, but the chances are not zero. Even if it is less than one percent, there is a possibility. If someone else can see what I’ve survived, maybe they will realize that they can too.

I’m not saying my life is any better or worse than someone else’s. There is always someone out there that has it better, and there is someone out there that always has it worse. From what I’ve been told, not many people go through as much shit as I have, especially all at the same time. I’ve survived so far, but if I don’t learn to take time for myself and practice good water management for my vase, it will either overflow or run dry. We have to manage our vases in order to preserve the flowers it is helping nourish. If our water runs dry, the flowers will wither and die. If we let our water overflow, the flowers will rush out or drown. If we break our vases, our flowers have no chance of survival. While it might not be the easiest thing to do, we must do it to save our body, mind, and soul.