How many times can a person fuck up in their life before they run out of second chances? I know, you technically only get one second chance. The next one is the third, but quit being a dick. There’s a point here. People go through phases in life. Some people get lucky enough to marry their high-school sweetheart and live a full happy life, married for 60+ years. Yeah, I’m not one of those. Divorced once and counting….
Being 42 this year, there are a lot of things I would have done differently if I knew what I know now. That’s not how life works though. You get one shot. Each decision made is a consequence that needs dealt with. Boy, have I fucked up a lot. Anyone who cannot say the same is lying to themselves. I joke that I will live to 237 years old, but I fear I will be dead in my 50s. Being 42, that’s fucking scary. I do not like that at all! I do not want to end up like that.
What is amazing to me is that at 42, life isn’t over yet. My path is not yet defined (from my perspective). I am on the verge of starting over. Starting over at 42…. how is that even possible? Should I just give up? Fuck no! A corny-as-shit movie that I love, Galaxy Quest, says, “Never give up! Never Surrender!” That movie makes me laugh. On the other side, there is a song that makes me cry every fucking time. In Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s “What Child is This?” there is a line that is powerful. “Could you be this old and have your life just begin?” Yes.
Life is funny that way. When one chapter ends, another begins. The end of the book is not yet written for me. I am not dead yet. While one chapter ends, the next chapter seems exciting. I’m curious as to what will happen. I know what I want to happen, but I have to continue to read before I know if it happens or not. There are some of my favorite characters that I hope get together. There are some villains that I hope see the light and turn away from their dark past. All I can say is that I am excited and hopeful for this next chapter, and I just hope it isn’t as fucked up as past few chapters.