It’s amazing how fast modern computers can process information. It’s still not quite up there with how much the human brain can process (at least, I think), but we have a lot more we process than a computer does. Computers and humans also process things in a much different manner. While a computer typically processes thing as we give it things to do, we process a plethora of things at once. Most of our processing is subconsciously. We don’t keep track of our blinking, breathing, digesting, heart rate, etc. We also have emotions, memories, and traumas to deal with and process. It isn’t an automagical thing.

When thinking about that, it amazes me how people take the ramblings of a man and think it’s as gospel as Jesus Christ preaching to the Apostles. It’s not! Unless I’m giving insight to a character or theme of my books, anything on here is just rambling bullshit of me trying to process things. I could write them down and keep thing super private, but how many other people are struggling with similar things, looking for someone who has gone through it, some guidance. I’m really good at making mistakes, so why the fuck would anyone take what I put on here so seriously, especially when it comes to real-life events? If you take what I say as truth, you’re a fucking idiot.

We all know that there are at least two sides to every story. Rarely, is a side completely correct. Our memories are shit. Our memories are about as accurate as the last presidential election… AKA full of meddling and bullshit. Instead of corrupt fuckholes, we corrupt our own memories with prejudice, previous experiences, and drugs. Memories can change too. There have been study after study on how easy it is to fuck with someone’s memory, making them think something happened that didn’t really take place. I ask again, why do people take the ramblings of a man as gospel? Have you looked at every side of the story objectively? Liar! You sure as shit know you haven’t.

I have learned that people do not want to listen to truth. They want to believe what they want to believe. My parents are among these people. They have formed certain opinions, and no matter how many facts are presented, they continue to discount the evidence as my own personal bias towards the situation. They neglect to see their own biases. I understand I have a personal bias towards certain people and situations. I’ve also been trying to expand my understanding of myself and why I do what I do. It’s difficult to self reflect if you’re not willing to self reflect. I am.

I’ve been looking at the past decade’s events through a different lens than I have in the past. I’ve been processing my life with newly discovered facts about my personality and other peoples’ personalities, and I’ve been enlightened to different things. I’m not done yet. There is a lot of work I have to do on myself and trying to understand my past and myself. Do I put this on here to document my journey, or will people think I’m some prophet and start a religion based on the stupid shit I say? It all comes down to common sense. If you think anything I say actually means anything significant, you’re dumb as fuck and just need to join a cult and drink the kool aid. This isn’t here for you to judge me or the processing of information. This isn’t here for you to take what I say as truth. This is here to document my thoughts and the way I process things so I can look back and grow as a person and an author. If you don’t like what I have to say, you can go shove a pineapple in your ass and jump in front of a train. I don’t care, and this site isn’t for you. If you want to join me in my journey and take my stupidity into account so you don’t have to make the same mistakes, I welcome you. If you’ve gone through similar things, and you take comfort in knowing that you’re not alone, join me! We have to be willing to be open to different perspectives. We have to be open to knowing that the truth might just be a lie.