Calmly Fuming…

I’ve stated before that there are selfish people and selfless people. It’s pretty easy to spot the differences when you’re looking. I’ll give an example most people will understand before getting into the details.

Sex is supposed to be fun, correct? We’re talking about consensual shit here. Nothing in life is 100% except death. I’d say taxes, but there are plenty of people on both ends of the wealth spectrum that don’t pay any. Anyways… In sex, you can have your selfish and selfless partners. Some people just want to finish as fast as they can and be done. My rule is, don’t finish first. I like the challenge and the puzzle. To me, it is much more gratifying to be the last to finish. I do not always succeed in following my rule, but I generally do.

Now, switching gears a little (yes, I could six-degrees this shit, but let’s just skip that). I go in for my hernia surgery in a few days. I cannot pick up heavy shit without risk of more damage and an emergency surgery. Our only source of heat in this house right now (when it gets really cold) is the outdoor wood burner. Those logs are not the gas-station stick pack. These motherfuckers are heavy. Some weigh in at over 75-100 pounds. Those ones are off to the side. I ask the wife for help. She literally asks me, “Can’t you pick up a log? Isn’t it like a gallon of milk?”

I’m holding back the urge to Gibb-slap her (NCIS reference). I ask, “Can you easily pick up a gallon of milk?”

She response, “Yes.”

“Do you have difficulty picking up the wood to put in the wood burner?” I ask.


“Hmmm…. so if you can easily pick up a gallon of milk, but you cannot easily pick up a piece of wood to throw in the wood burner, how in the fuck can you ask me why I can’t pick up a piece of wood, when picking up a huge piece of wood contributed to this hernia?”

“I don’t know.”

I turned off the heat last night. Fuck it. It got down to 17 outside. It’s 60 in the house. Heat pumps don’t work at 17 degrees. It sucks realizing, yet again, your partner is selfish. This still pisses me off, and I’m silently fuming…

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