How do people go through life being so completely oblivious to everyday things? I hear water running in the upstairs bathroom from the kitchen. “I hear water running.”

I get a reply of, “I turned everything off.”

“Is the toilet still running?”

“Uh… I don’t know.”

Of course, the toilet was running.

Update: 15 minutes after I said to make sure the red ball is firmly in the hole of the toilet, it was still running. Apparently, he thought just merely observing the red ball was enough to change the outcome. You know, like quantum physics.

Same shit happens when I take a piss and the toilet is clogged. “How do you know know the toilet is clogged?!”

“Well, the water went down,” is usually what I get.

“Yeah, did it go down really slowly, and didn’t the toilet sound different when you flushed it?”

“Uh… I don’t know.”

Holy fuck, people! If your car is making a squealing noise all of a sudden, do you go on like, “I’ve never noticed that noise before. Oh, it must be okay because I can still drive.” No wonder our society is full of a bunch of brain-dead zombies! No one pays attention to anything but their fucking phones! No one has any situational awareness anymore.

A classic one for me is from the step-son. “Oh, you put doors on the side of the house.”

I look at him in disbelief, like maybe I had an aneurysm and missed out on a few moments of life before I came back. First of all, these doors are not small. It’s like a 10ft x 8ft opening in the side of the house he passes every fucking day for the past two years. I heard correctly. That day was the first time in two years that he noticed those doors. I still have synapses misfire when I think about it.

I can’t think about this subject anymore. I feel myself de-evolving with every passing second.

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