A Fucking Hernia, Really?


Two nights ago, I was standing there pissing. I was a little drunk. I went to push the piss out and noticed a bulge protrude from my groin. What the fuck was that? I did it again, and there it was again! I thought it was either an alien trying to burst through my groin (why couldn’t it come out of my stomach like every other alien) or it was my intestines. FUCK! It was my intestines. I pushed it back in and went to bed. The next day, it ached. It was annoying. I called the doc and got in the next morning (this morning). Confirmed.

Son of a bitch! …..

I do not have a date for surgery, but I go to talk to the surgeon on Monday. I picked the best guy in town. The town has three surgeons, but this guy is really good. He’s operated on my mother, my son, and my wife. I could wait it out and not do anything, but I’m not going to. Why spend the thousands of dollars in deductibles if I don’t have to do it now?

The biggest reason is that I want to do this on my terms, and in my time. I could put it off, but if it goes out, and doesn’t go back in, I end up with an ER visit and an emergency surgery with maybe the worst of the three surgeons in town. Both my parents about died within the last five years from waiting too long to seek treatment. My mother did it with bowel issues, and my dad was two months ago with the covids. If he didn’t ignore it and try to work through it for two weeks before getting tested and treated, he wouldn’t have ended up in the ICU.

Fuck that! I’m going to handle this on my terms. I’m not going to let chance dictate my outcome. There is a small chance I’ll die, but it’s less of a chance than if I let it go way too long and something bad happens.

The other reason I’m getting it done is because it’s annoying. It doesn’t hurt that badly at all. It aches. I live with knee and back pain every day. This is nothing (so far); however, I hate having to hold in my intestines while I take a shit… or walk. No ma’am, I’m not touching my cock! I’m holding my intestines in while I walk up these flights of stairs. I can touch my cock for $50. It used to be $20, but gas prices…

With all that said, I’m nervous as fuck. I don’t like going through surgery. The only other surgery I have gone through was getting my tonsils removed when I was a kid. I didn’t know any better then. Back then, I was sick of having strep throat every fucking month. After getting my tonsils out, I wouldn’t shut the fuck up! It felt so much better, I just kept talking. I think my parents had the nurses knock me out with meds. I don’t like being sedated. It scares me. The risk is low, but it isn’t zero. Kids have died getting their tonsils out. My mother about died from a hernia surgery. To be fair, it was after her first bout of sepsis shock, and she wasn’t fully healthy when she went in for round two. I’m much healthier and much (relatively) younger than she was at the time. Regardless, I’m going to be a nervous fucking wreck going into it, no matter how calm I might appear on the outside.

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