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Why Is It Anyone’s Fault
Things happen all the time. I get blamed for feeling a feeling I’m not feeling. I get blamed for thinking something I’m not thinking. People like to say they are open minded, but I get lumped into the same arena as sociopaths and abusers even though I am not thinking of anything like them. I…
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Loving Someone…
Loving someone isn’t always easy. It’s not supposed to be. Even the beginning of the love is full of craziness. We all know the amazing euphoria of falling in love. Even that isn’t easy. Butterflies in the stomach; anxiousness waiting to hear from the person. Questioning whether or not the other person feels the same…
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Love and Pain
How is it possible to be in this much pain? How can my chest feel so tight, and my soul feel so empty, like a bombed-out city? How can I love so much, and why does it have to hurt? I found someone so fucking incredible in so many ways, it seems impossible. She’s beautiful…
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Knowing is Half the Battle
Anyone who’s watched G.I. Joe back in the 1980’s and 1990’s has heard the phrase, “knowing is half the battle,” when being taught valuable life lessons. The point was that you cannot solve an issue if you do not know one exists. This is true in every aspect of our lives. Still, knowing a problem…
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I’m Back, Bitch!
The last month (or so) has been a wild ride. Life is difficult enough to maintain without death threats, law enforcement showing up at your house, divorce, lawyers, civil protection orders, new love, trying to sell the farm, etc. I’ve wanted to post on here for a while, but there never seems to be enough…
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Back in the Habit
And no, I’m not talking about the second Sister Act move where they should have just stopped after the first one. I’m talking about how quickly people fall back into their habits after they say they are going to change. The wife is a non-functional alcoholic. She might halfway function at work, but she isn’t…
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All I Ask
In the past, all I asked in a relationship was to not be worthless. I mean, that isn’t too much to ask. Help around the house, help take care of the kids, and help with everyday life shit. I didn’t think that was too much to ask. The last two wives, did not fulfill those…
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When It’s Worth The Wait
These last few posts have been about struggling with patience and waiting. When one is struggling with these issues, one has to ask themselves if it is worth the wait. I mean, waiting five hours to ride a 30 second ride is not worth it to me. I don’t care if the ride makes me…
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The Waiting Game
They say patience is a virtue. Patience must be practiced. Well, I fucking hate being patient. Does it still count as being patient when my anxiety is through the roof? I guess if I don’t act on it, then yes? When we ask God for patience, most of us do not realize what we’re asking…
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On the Sidelines
Watching someone you love go through shit is one of the toughest things one can do. When my youngest son was born, there were immediate concerns for his health, although I did not realize it. I went home to get my last good night’s sleep. Little did I know how true that statement would be.…